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Puella Puella ist weiblich
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Dabei seit: 26.10.2005
Beiträge: 483
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Jaa, unsre Lehrerin hat sich mal wieder was "tolles" ausgedacht und uns mit wirklich ... blöden Wörten (24) eine Geschichte schreiben lassen. Natürlich alles auf Englisch xD
Naja, da sie nicht soo lang werden durfte hab ich sie jetzt nicht sonderlich ausgeschmückt und musste halt auch irgendwie die Wörter unterkriegen, aber ihr könnt ja mal schaun.
.edit
Ich habe mal die vorgegebenen Wörter unterstrichen.

A real nightmare


A real nightmare.
I went between high heaps of things, which some people has once lost and looked for an old hat. Every day the same. I spent my everyday life in a little room - the lost property office. Also I thought my job was a real waste. The heat that came through the open window into the room was unbearable. And I was really looking forward to the training, in which I coached some little children.
While I was lost in thoughts I stumpled over a black leather book. It was a little bit damaged and when I opened it I had to pay attention that it didn't decayed. I saw newspaper article of fires and punch-ups in the vicinity. But there was also something handwritten:
That all was just some childish tricks. I need something bigger.
Was on chase. Ride in the metro, search in the faces for the right. Many beautiful women, who sit facing to me. It's like a casting for a big role.
A counting of animals.

I leafed through the book back to the start to find out a name or something like this. But I didn't find anything.
What should I do? Should I bring the book to the police? I read on. On the next side were three names written (Redhead, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty) with their descriptions and when he had met them at the station, where they get on the train and where they get off the train.
I was really shocked about this, but nothing betrayed his identity. So I couldn't bring the book to the police. They wouldn't believe me, because I only had this stupid lines of letters on the white papers. And they would just make some silly comments. After having made some thoughts I decided to rescue the women by myself...
For the next days I traveled the route on my one to find the author of the mystery book, whom I'd given the name cockroach. I saw the women.
Redhead was a redhair one, Snow White was black-haired and Sleeping Beauty fair-haired. However I didn't find the cockroach.
I have now studied the book from the start to the end looking for a point where the cockraoch is betraying hisself. But his persecution complex impeded him.
All these plans written in the book were so mad, so that I told my friend, Wayne, after all. We decided to go to the station and check all the happenings again.
Suddenly we saw a suspect. It was a big man standing behing Redhead. I said that I would drive with the suspect and Wayne should go with Redhead.
Before I go, I turned to Wayne again. "Please, promise me to be careful." "Don't worry, I'm a strong man." I tried to smile but I couldn't.
Then I got into the metro near behind the man. We drove until the terminus. The man got off the train and I went after him. Suddenly he stopped near a small woman and caught her. I was afraid and got into a sweat. I saw everything coming...
But the woman just laughed at the big man and thanked him that he had picked up her after dancing. I slumped and had only one question in my head:
What about Wayne?
In that moment my telephone rang. It was Wayne and he spoke excitedly:
"Hey, Duncan. You won't believe me. I followed Redhead and suddenly saw a very strong man walking behind her. So I went with them in a small distance.
But then they disappeared. Some time later I saw the man walking out of an old house..."
Oh my godness, the cockroach. I began to run. Faster than I've ever ran. Wayne was standing in front of the house, when I arrived.
"Hurry up, you have to break open the lock. So that I can go into the house." Wayne first protested but after saying him that he could go after that, he did it. It didn't took a long time to break the lock open and I slowly went into the decaying house. I could smell smoke and while I was going up to a steel-door. I respected on every sound. On the door wasn't a handle. At the button was a small hole like a Letterbox. Or a opening to give someone inside a plate with food...
I kneel down and tried to see anything. But on the other side everything was dark black.
"Hello?" I whispered. "Is there anybody inside?" No one answered.
"I will open the door now, okay?" I put my fingers into the opening to open the door. I was shaking in the thougt someone inside could caught them.
I opened the door and jumped in the back.
Empty.
Only darkness.
I looked around. The room was empty, no blood or anything like that. It wasn't used at all...
Fast I wanted to go outside. But then I heard a noise. Someone was coming into the house. For a minute I thougt it could be Wayne but the shadow was too big. That could only be one person. He had a long knife in his right hand. He touched me with it. I began to ran. Ran outside, faster and faster. The cockroach was near behind me. I didn't think of turn around until I was at the station. I went to the pladform. I didn't know how much blood I've lost but it still flows. The cockroach came nearer and nearer. Suddenly he was right in front of me and slap me. I stumbled because of the slap and fell down on the railes. I saw two shining eyes. But then I noticed that these weren't really eyes. A loud noise and the train came on the railes to the station. The roar of the train got more loudly. The coakroach kick with his shoes at me. His food tried again but this time I got it. With all my weight I pulled him on the railes. I creeped between the railes into a little opening. Then there was a big pain. The world turned into black and I fell deep, very deep.
Then: nothing.

The boy in the mirrow looked quite awful.
I watched myself and then went back to my bed. The white walls of the hospital dazzled me. The cockroach was dead... But they said mine wasn't something serious and I would be okay in a few days.

(bei dem letzten Satz bin ich mir mit der Grammatik sehr unsicher... "mine wasn't..." Vielleicht kann mir da jemand helfen?)

Dieser Beitrag wurde 1 mal editiert, zum letzten Mal von Puella: 18.05.2007 13:57.

17.05.2007 14:35 Puella ist offline E-Mail an Puella senden Homepage von Puella Beiträge von Puella suchen Nehmen Sie Puella in Ihre Freundesliste auf
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Dabei seit: 26.10.2005
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Themenstarter Thema begonnen von Puella
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Hey,
dankeschön für die hübsche Bewertung ;p
Grammatikalisch denke ich eigentlich das es so stimmen müsste,
aber natürlich können dennoch einige Fehler eingeschlichen haben.
Ich bin nämlich keinesfalls perfekt in Englisch.
Wegen dem Vokabular kann ich dir falls du möchtest gerne weiterhelfen Augenzwinkern
Dass manches nicht so ausgeschmückt ist finde ich auch schade, aber wie gesagt - durfte halt nicht allzu lang sein (... ich will ja auch nicht als Streberin rüberkommen xD)
Ansonsten danke für die Kritik.

Noch irgendwelche Meinungen?
18.05.2007 13:48 Puella ist offline E-Mail an Puella senden Homepage von Puella Beiträge von Puella suchen Nehmen Sie Puella in Ihre Freundesliste auf
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Dabei seit: 26.10.2005
Beiträge: 483
Herkunft: - Germany -

Themenstarter Thema begonnen von Puella
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Hey, tut mir Leid, der Thread ist bei mir leider völlig in Vergessenheit geraten.
Also xD
Cockroach heißt übersetzt Kakerlake.
Der Erzähler hat dem Mann, dessen Tagebuch er gefunden hat, diesen
Namen verpasst. Es ist also kein richtiger Name Augenzwinkern
Ich hoffe ich konnte einigermaßen weiterhelfen.

LG Puella

P.S.: Auch wenn's schon ein wenig her ist, würd ich mich trotzdem noch über feedback freuen.
30.07.2007 18:48 Puella ist offline E-Mail an Puella senden Homepage von Puella Beiträge von Puella suchen Nehmen Sie Puella in Ihre Freundesliste auf
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